Chao keng day

I was trying to convince Mel to lunch with me around Orchard where my
doctor was, because I think I'll be on sick leave tomorrow for my bad
tennis knee. Bloody clumsy idiot I am.

Mel: got to work.. you wanna come eat in woodlands?

(Of course not, Mel!)

Me: I got no car.. Parents are in KL..
Mel: roles reversed i'd say the same thing. you'll be much closer to
your parents in woodlands
Me: Haha. Nice try. I'm king of the hill here. The boss. I'm in charge
of the house. My brother has to do my bidding.
Mel: yeh yeh.. like wat? cook for you?
Me: No actually I cooked for him. *sheepish look* There are no benefits
being boss. Being my brother's boss, I mean. He's an evil little twit.

Well I meant that in the most loving way!

Shart

So I was having a conversation today with someone, who told me to look up the word "shart". So the helpful word of the day today is

Shart : a small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart (blend of "shit" and "fart")

Ok, I don't know about you, but I found this quite hilarious, to my embarrassment. I think my sense of humour has a tendency to veer towards toilet jokes.

Speaking of toilet jokes, my brother sent this to me. It's pretty funny, I tell you.





And lastly, at the risk of getting struck by lightning, this is by far the funniest.



A testament to the fact that I generally collect friends of this ilk is the following conversation, in response to my definition of shart:

Adrian: interesting portmanteau!
Me: Haha. I'll say! My new word for the day.
Adrian: it's just like the time someone told me, "A wet fart isn't really a fart." which i agreed
Me: Hahahha. Ew! I should know better than to discuss stuff like that with you. It's like having a competition to see who gets grossed out first.
Adrian: i can go on!
Me: Yes, I'm sure you can! Wahahaha
Adrian: i like winning these things, but i usually get gruesomely surprised along the way

A real post.. But not a very happy one.

I realise that I haven't been doing proper blogging the way I used to, and taking the lazy way out by simply exerpting conversations that I've had with people. I can see how that might be superficial to some of you who actually are entertained by my ramblings, or who are genuinely interested in my welfare, so I will deign, once in a while, to write a few actual posts. Part of this realisation I guess is spurred on by speaking with Calvin, who happens to think that my writing style requires very little mediation. Whatever that means.

The truth is that there have been many things that have happened the past few months, none of which can be shared in this medium. I have grappled with several issues which, if I think about it, forces me to make difficult decisions about my life and how I want to live it, about people and how I want to treat them, about friendship, about God, about life and separation and loss and love. As you can tell, all this is pretty heavy going, so I try not to think about it as much as I possibly can.

There have been a flurry of activity around me recently, but despite everything, I've been feeling lonely. Alone. The sort of coldness in the heart that cannot be filled by yet more parties to go to, or more money earned, or more good deeds done. The bible says that God gives a full and joyful life. Am I missing the point somewhere along the way? Am I not God-centred enough? Have there been too many things that have clouded my view of the cross?

Yeah, another one of those

My nick on MSN right now says "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." (This is in response to a situation I'm facing right now, but enough of that. I had a funny conversation with *Jamie who appears to be fixated with the nick.
*Name disguised to protect his reputation - though we all know who it is, right Ed?

Jamie: tats so cliche. how abt mine.. the strong eats, the weak is meat
Me: You're an idiot. :P
Jamie: how bout u?
Me: I'm not!
Jamie: wht r u then?
Me: I'm bright, and chirpy, and smart!
Jamie: chirpy?
Me: Yeah! Chirp chirp chirp
Jamie: yuck
Me: Dun like that lar.. Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp
Jamie: i tink u r a nutcase

Two hours later...

Jamie: if u kena fooled for e third time then shame on who?
Me: Shame on you! For asking stupid questions.
Jamie: he he i know that one is coming ha ha
Me: Jaime I hate you! :'(
Jamie: why?
Me: Disturbing me during Platts!
Jamie: u can ignore me wot?
Me: Cannot. I'm obsessive compulsive. Must clear all my blinking IM screens
Jamie: then u shouldnt hate me. hate urself! MUAHA HA AH AHAH
Me: *faint*

Mag again

I was talking to Grace just today about life back in OH, and she complained a little about my "arch-enemy". Well, she isn't really, but I was reading with interest this email correspondence I had with her last year. I'll highlight the pertinent bits. I do think, on hindsight, that I tend to be quite bitchy and condescending when talking to her. It honestly wasn't my intention. Perhaps I don't put too much thought into phrasing my words. Or more likely, I'm just a bloody bitch.

This email was addressed to the ED and I was copied on it.

Mag (to all): During the last year recycling exercise by the Student Council, the vendor came twice, both time they paid our students $50.
Me (to all): Wonderful! Thanks, Mag.
Mag (to me, copying Andrew): You may want to find out who is keeping the money and how you intend to record all these petty cash.
Me (to Mag, copying Andrew): Incidentally, I’m getting a bit confused here. Is Andrew the resource person for the Student Council? Why is David asking you all these questions? [I guess I should have worded this properly. Realised on hindsight she got defensive because of the way I asked]

A long email from her (I'll just edit out the details):

You have problem with me getting involved in some of the students council? btw I am constantly asked information with regards to the Student Council, just because I am HM.

In fact most of the time, I don't get enough information from you or Andrew about the SC and it makes things very difficult for me. SCREAM!!!!!!! [Now she's blaming me and A for keeping info from her!]

I am doing things out of a need rather than from a point of control. "I eat, sleep also not so free". I know you are very efficient and capable, but at times you may not be in the office with our bosses and we need to fulfil some of their quiries.

So my response, in equally bitchy fashion:

The reason you don’t get information is because you’re not the SC resource person as far as I know. Would you like to be on the mailing list?

The current procedure, which you would know if you were on the mailing list, is [blah blah blah]

I don’t care if you want to be involved in the SC. I had no issues reporting to either you or Andrew. You just need to let me know. I was there when you taught Indora how to inventory the items. Did I make noise? No. Was I defensive when you chased me for the date of PK’s dinner with SC3? No. I am not being defensive about you. I am defensive about ED poking his smelly nose into SC stuff.

Incidentally, why do we need 2 resource people in SC? Are they out of control? Please don’t misunderstand again. This is feedback for me.

You might have probably guessed that I’m a bit stretched with the 2 councils, AHM duties, ensemble (which is unofficial), the movie club, my cluster, and now with the floor party as well as my personal life and exams and work and family. And I haven’t cleaned my room. I’ll be more than happy if you can help out in the SC. You just need to let me know so there is no confusion in reporting. And there’s no need to double report.

As far as I remember, there was silence from her. So there. The way to treat Mag is *not* to be silent in her face because you cannot understand her argument, but to argue till you're blue in the face, and *she* becomes silent.

A point of interest (and amusement) for me is how poor, innocent Andrew constantly gets dragged into my fracases with Mag.

Austrians Not Amused

I swiped this off here.. It's hilarious!


British tourists have left the residents of one charming Austrian village effing and blinding by constantly stealing the signs for their oddly named village.

While British visitors are finding it hilarious, the residents of Fucking are failing to see the funny side.

Only one kind of criminal stalks the sleepy 32-house village near Salzburg on the German border - cheeky British tourists armed with a sense of humor and a screwdriver.

But the local authorities are hitting back with the signs now set in concrete, police chief Kommandant Schmidtberger is on the lookout.

"We will not stand for the Fucking signs being removed," the officer said.

"It may be very amusing for you British, but Fucking is simply Fucking to us. What is this big Fucking joke? It is puerile."

Local tourist guide Andreas Behmueller said it was only the British that had a fixation with Fucking.

"The Germans all want to see the Mozart house in Salzburg," he explained. "Every American seems to care only about 'The Sound of Music' (the 1965 film shot around Salzburg.) The occasional Japanese wants to see Hilter's birthplace in Braunau."

"But for the British, it's all about Fucking."

Guesthouse manager Augustina Lindelbauer described the village's breathtaking lakes, forests and vistas. "Yet still there is this obsession with Fucking," she said. "Just this morning I had to tell an English lady that there were no Fucking postcards."

My widdle baby wabies...

Look what I spent the whole of today making!


Now see, I've never been very good with the presentation of my food. They taste fine though. Those nasty black patches aren't really black patches at all, but brown, nicely caramelised bits of my portuguese egg tarts. Again, my Blackberry makes my pictures look like a huge crow crapped on it. And I haven't any idea where my normal camera is.


I made apple crumble, as well as banana crumble. It's supposed to look golden brown, but for some reason (blame the moronic BB) it looks like I didn't give them a tan. When warm, these babies melt in your mouth! The crumble is light and flaky, the apple filling gives it a sweet/sour taste in your mouth (I used a mixture of Granny Smith and Fuji). The banana crumble was warm and soft, with just the right amount of cinnamon to give it a pleasing aftertaste. Couple it with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream, and you have yourself a real treat.