Three blind mice, Three blind mice
See how they run! See how they run!
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice.
Moral: Teaching the young to start chopping the tails off harmless little rodents.
Baa, baa black sheep, Have you any wool
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.
One for my master, And one for my dame
And one for the little boy who lives down the lane.
Moral: It's ok to be gullible and unsuspecting of people, and keep the good stuff for those who will one day slaughter and eat you.
Hey diddle diddle, The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed to see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
Moral 1: It is alright for a canny dog to laugh at his friend who was so alarmed that he jumped over a moon.
Moral 2: Stupid and impossible things that have no causality or meaning can be taught to a young child through nursery rhymes.
Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one, And down he run,
Hickory dickory dock.
Moral: Stick booby traps in your clock to strike harmless rodents (Hur hur. Yes, I know "struck" doesn't mean "hit" in this rhyme.)
The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the waterspout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
So the itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the spout again!
Moral: Little insects are very resilient and need to be killed with more than rainwater.
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
I'm being swallowed by a boa constrictor
And I don't like it very much
Oh no (oh no) he swallowed my toe (he swallowed my toe)
Oh me (oh me) he swallowed my knee (he swallowed my knee)
Oh fiddle (oh fiddle) he's up to my middle (he's up to my middle)
Oh heck (oh heck) he swallowed my neck (he swallowed my neck)
Oh - (GULP!)
Moral: 'Nuff said.
There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.
Moral 1: If you find money, it belongs to you. Just like if you find a cellphone in a taxicab.
Moral 2: All crooks live together. Hang around with crooks and you will become like one of them.
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.
Down goes the first one, down goes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Up comes the first one, up comes the second one,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
Moral: This is just plain disgusting.
This little piggie went to market, This little piggie stayed home.
This little piggie had roast beef, This little piggie had none.
And this little piggie cried, "Wee! Wee! Wee!" all the way home.
Moral: Some people work, some people sit around and eat. Some people are lazy-ass bastards. If you don't get what you want, you can cry and make a big fuss.
