Nobody remains a virgin. Life fucks everyone.

Crude? Yes.

Funny? Ohyeah!

Heath Ledger died today.

At 28. That's my age.

Never really followed the guy, but time after time, you watch from the sidelines people who you think were at the top - having achieved the American Dream and for whom every of life's whims were essentially within grasp - fall.

Was it suicide? Was it an accident? Foul play? Dunno.

Perhaps he was never really happy. Perhaps some things cannot be acheived by being insanely rich. Or insanely good-looking (arguably). Or insanely popular. Or insanely successful in their field (arguably).

Maybe after all the clamouring, scheming and plotting to get to the top, the reality hits home: There's nothing up there. That huge holein your heart? That cannot be filled by the view from the top.

Why does nobody want to go out with me?

Victim 1
********
Me: Are you free this evening?
Me: I'm going for a wedding, and I don't know anyone there, not even the bride and groom.
Me: So I'm allowed to bring one friend.
V1: go for wedding dinner?
V1: yikes, thk i'll pass
V1: so awkward!

Victim 2
********
Me: I'm going for a wedding dinner tonight, and I am allowed to bring one friend. Can you come?
V2: Wedding dinner? So weird! People will think I'm your boyfriend!
Me: Huh? How come?
V2: Dowan, dowan. Later Gina (girlfriend) kill me.

Victim 3
********
Me: Are you free this evening? Can accompany me for wedding dinner?
V3: no. whose? i hate wedding dinners
Me: Aiyah.. Go with me? I got no friends..
V3: no.. i m not free either. why do u have to go?
Me: It's my friend's. I don't know any of his friends, but he's an old friend.. I've known him for like 10 years, so must go.
V3: ooo
Me: So how? Go?
V3: no

Victim 4
********
Me: Eh I need to go for a wedding dinner tonight leh.
Me: Wanna come?
V4: WAT
V4: u siao ar
Me: Haha. I need company mah!
V4: siao
Me: Ee yer! I'll be all alone!
Me: Poor me! *cue sad violin music*
V4: siaoo

I'm gonna canvass the market for friends who would go with me, failing which, I might need to resort to bribery.

Morning Conversation

Me: I got kangkong in my shit today. :D
Friend: wat?!
Friend: u mean got shit in ur kangkong?
Me: Nono.. Yesterday I had kangkong for dinner.. :D
Friend: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee
Friend: disgusting!
Friend: u are DISGUSTING!!!!
Me: Wahahahahahaha….
Friend: bitch
Friend: ttyl
Friend: my turn to go toilet
Me: Observe.....
Friend: bitch

Goodbye baby

Ok I know more explanation is in order for the demise of Hammy. Unknown causes, I guess. Here's a conversation with a friend, reminiscing the good times with little Hammy. In a way, this will be my little lack-of-time tribute to my baby.

Friend: eh murderer, how yr hammy chew the cage? thats freaking fiberglass rite?
Me: Haha. I dunno leh. You know that red cover thing in the picture? There's holes for him to breathe right? Somehow he manages to kind of enlarge one of the holes. He bites it till it becomes big
Friend: wah! maddness
Me: He's quite a persistent little fella. Got attitude one.
Me: The last cage I bought for him, he bite through the plastic until he can actually put half his body out. But he's too fat around the midsection, so he got stuck in the middle. WHAHAHAHHA! And he was kinda suspended in midair the whole day until I came back from work and rescued him. Hence I bought the new cage.
Friend: WAHAHa
Me: He's very cute lah. I miss him.
Friend: sigh. i noe..
Friend: dun like tt lar. i treat u makan ok
Me: Haha. Dun need lah. I'm ok.
Me: Then yesterday I took the morning off to have a little funeral for him. Then I used a fork and spoon to sort of lift him out of the cage. His body was still soft!! I was so tempted to stroke him! He looked so peaceful in his sleep.
Friend: WAH LIEW. let him sleep then! peace at last
Me: He was freaking dead lah.
Friend: away from u the evil murder
Me: Haha.
Friend: murderer
Me: I never murder him!! I keep giving him food leh! But he was so tiny.. He was just very furry, so sometimes the pictures a bit unflattering lah. Wahahaha! But he very fit and slim one. Wahhaha
Friend: wahaha! bitch leh!
Friend: u cheer up lar! i think he is happier this way
Me: Haha. Yeah. In heaven got a lot of food.

Hamilton Chang Peng Boon: 14 Feb 2006 - 6 Dec 2007

This is a fond farewell to my little friend, my lovable roommate, my trusted companion. Maybe we'll meet in heaven.

Rest in peace.

I miss you so much baby.

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