YC wanted me to update my blog with more juicy stuff. And just as well that this thing came up.
Short sentences ok? I'm tired.
I was on duty this evening. On the way back, they dragged me off to this food tasting thing. I informed them I was on duty. They said never mind, it's ok. Since my "boss", Mag, said it was ok, then fine, I'll go.
Turned out that I wouldn't be back in time for roll call and had to get 2 boarders to help take attendance. But I'd still have to do the lights out round to make sure everyone's in bed. When I reached the hostel, I went to the common room and found 4 boarders sitting around and
chatting. They told me they have permission from Noemi (no the spelling IS like that), the new AHM. I told them Noemi is not on duty, I am. They insisted she's on duty. I called up the office and confirmed that I'm on duty. Mag somehow found out that I'm not happy that Noemi is
doing duty for me. We tried talking, but stupid Blackberry isn't cooperating, and I kept getting cut off. I send her this sms:
Ok la, we leave it as it is. I'm not ungrateful, just that I need to know before I scold the kids for asking permission from the wrong ahm. We had this problem with lilian v for the longest time when she was hm and anyhow gave permission, and don't want it recurring again.
Then she sends me this sms.
I think u should work wif a team in mind. D kids will explain n u can verify. Like u would verify with andrew. Must we be scolding boarders like they r dirt. generally 2nd floor r older n jc boarder who r preparing for prelim.
I was FURIOUS!!
I tried composing this sms:
Much as I hate to pick a fight with you yet again, and I think you're afraid to answer my call, I have to say this. I resent what you said about me treating boarders like dirt. I want you to take it back because it is not true. I had a legitimate reason for scolding them because they were up past lights out without the permission of the AHM on duty (which is me, by the way. I was not informed of anyone who is covering me.). If you want to talk about a team mentality, here's a thought. You should let me know when someone is doing my duty. Someone playing as a team
should not be keeping the big picture to herself only.
Then I decided to cool it, so sent this sms to Andrew.
Me: I almost picked a fight with mag just now. She said I treat the boarders like dirt, and that I'm not a team player.
Andrew: How come? When did you two talk? Why is mag antagonising ahms like this?
Me: [And I told him the story from the beginning]
Andrew: Yikes. Sounds ugly.
Me: And she mentioned you, because she dunno that you get whacked sometimes for doing stupid shit too. Her sms to me: "I think u should work wif a team in mind. D kids will explain n u can verify. Like u would verify with andrew. Must we be scolding boarders like they rdirt. generally 2nd floor r older n jc boarder who r preparing for prelim."
Andrew: Why am i always dragged into such things? I cannot see how i can be relevant to this issue.
Me: I dunno. Convenient scapegoat? Heh. She thinks I'm a difficult ahm to handle and that I hate her and only listen to you.
Andrew: Sigh. If she displays leadership like that, no wonder no one listens to her.
Me: Argh. I have no respect for her, but at the same time, I'm worried I'm turning into an irate and difficult person! But accusations like that I cannot swallow! :(
Andrew: Well. I have always felt that things are difficult for ahms as they do their duties at night as it is after a long days' work and everyone's tempers and selfcontrol are short. Much better to wait till morning to talk things over. I think to guard against becoming irate and nasty, you need to keep in priority the boarders' needs and their welfare. If you do that, you'll not go too wrong. Trouble with mag is that she craves approval from the older boarders and ends up like a pale
version of kris.
Me: I'm afraid I'll end up covering my ego and masquerading it as concern for boarders. This has nothing to do with boarders. They were wrong to stay up without permission. If they do, it's ok. But only from the ahm on duty. But that's where the problem begins, because her communication is so poor.
Anyway, talked to Mag shortly after, and admittedly, it didn't start off well. Here's the sms I sent to Andrew to summarise the half hour conversation.
Just talked to Mag. She told me other AHMs don't give her a problem, but I told her it's cuz I got no respect for her. I told her it's her fault communication was bad. She admitted, but said that reports came back from 2 boarders that I scream at them, hence the "treat boarder like dirt". Got 2 incidents, and one of them was my fault, have already apologized to Karen a week after the incident. In the end we ended off quite peacefully.
What I didn't manage to say in the SMS without extending it into a 2 page essay, was that she brought up so many issues, one of which is the fact that I would willingly listen to Andrew but not her; that I would consult him and not her, and that I would fly off the handle if it's her that hindered me in my work. I told her that Andrew would get the same treatment unless he were able to explain clearly the reasons for his actions. And told her point blank that her communication was bad, and that she was not very bright. But she of course retaliated by insinuating that I had mood swings and that I was rather unreasonable. And she cited 2 incidents where I "screamed" at boarders. Incident 1 was not screaming, it was a threat of punishment, and incident 2 *was* screaming (and it was kinda my fault also), but was resolved quite soon
after the event. There was a rationale behind the screaming; it had to do with my frustration for her not wanting to reach her full potential, and some form of defiance on her part.
Anyway, it was over, and I am glad. I mean, I am glad to be leaving soon.
